The nine mistakes of my life.

The nine mistakes of my life

1. When piss drunk, you shouldn't try and jive with your best guy friend near a broken window. You tend to get painful stitches that way.
Also, You should most definitely not tickle the doc who is trying stitch those gashes. Oh, and yes, you should opt for anesthesia.

2. Trying to perform a long jump between two very wet walls of the gutter on holi is a very fool proof way to slip and almost slit your tongue in half.

3. Always Remember to put the lid of the mixer. Unless you enjoy red chilli powder in your eyes.

4. Whenever you fancy a two person wheelie, be sure to convey your urges to the pillion rider.

5. Avoid banging your helmet adorned head on the wall. Those suckers are meant to avoid injuries, not alleviate pain.

6. If you're badly bruised, never, ever go to a homeopathic doctor. They will ask you fifty five questions, sympathize and then give the sound medical advise of getting the wound dressed by a Doctor.

7. Never agree to cross dress for your camera toting wife, regardless of how sexily she asks you to. You'll regret it later.

8. While visiting your girlfriends house when her mum's around, double check your fly; forgetting to zip up will bring you pain, from your girlfriend.

9. Don't offer to drop a cute traffic-woman home. She might take you up on the offer and you might have to travel 15 miles to face an aggravated and intoxicated policeman husband. You also might have to become her 'brother' there and then to avoid an altercation.

I can assure you that by the time I'm 60, I'll be writing the 900 top mistakes of my life! Stay tuned!